2019 October 29 - Check In - Need to flip

29-October-2109 - Logan, Utah Old Man Winter and Mother Nature are bedfellows again!

Checkin' IN!!!

External Resource (Click Here)  Smart Trainers and Cycling Apps reviewed

Well, If you look at the pic above, you will see that seasons are in conflict and things are definitely in flux here in Northern Utah.  Which means the kiddos are full of excitement one moment, and ready to kill the adult and non-kidlets swifter than any manageable time frame.  They are fickle, but our kids are generally great kids.

So, I think what I have been struggling with the most is being me.  Personally who I am now, compared to who I have been before, and who I just may become.  I have adopted the mantra of "Unreasonable expectations are just future resentment" -- thanks to Robbie and Mike.  I am also questioning the delivery of this phrasing in workplace philosophies

Work - Life - Balance!

I vehemently disagree with how we speak about the topic of work, life, balance and its equation as it pertains to mindfulness or any other context. It is my feeling that we need to 'flip the shark' and address it from a different perspective -- it should be referred to as Life, then 'family or your versioning of this context', then work. Until we transform the context, we will always be a servant to the Master of work and not 'life'.  Here are two videos to consider:

I was interested in this one because it was released in 2015.  I guess I am slow to my own party, but I was a bit busy working on me, and aligning myself with life and family!

This one is complementary to the previous and takes it a bit further flirting with the context of death and using visual triggers associated to hospital type scenario's to make the message bite a bit more into the failing hearts of those in comas and not awakened to this need.

I do think the small shift in focus, is really what I have been missing.  Liz has been tugging at me in gentle ways to help concentrate on family things well before the arrival of the announcement of kidlet number 4 being inbound.  To that end, I began waking up in 2013/2014 when I was primarily inactive and dulling out to all the beauties of life.  Luckily in my travels and working in Europe a series of engagements and events helped me be ready for the adventures of the last few years.  I have shared my Transformation Tuesday stories a bit and how those events led to many diverse awakenings both life-related and family-related.  The least of which, the work-related ones, became frustrating enough that I was no longer willing to allow my boundaries to be compromised.

I was asked this last week how do I do certain things.  I had to reflect.  I didn't have any epic response but I gave two answers - 

1. In endurance sports - where the question stemmed from - I said I have learned to embrace the boring in exchange for folks that ask me this question from time to time expecting an epic response, but really I am loving boring.  
2. In life and family - I no longer apologize and surrender family or life b/c work is wanting me to compromise, I cited the commonly referred to death bed scenario I think highlighted in video number 2 above.

Look, I'm 45 and still haven't got things all figured out.  I'm building the plane as I fly it, so-to-speak when it comes to parenting and keeping my wife and family at the forefront.  I am nowhere near perfect, but I hope I have come to learn and know when to allow growth to happen.  At times, I still miss it, and am grateful for the kindness and grace offered to me by those who support me most (wife and close family and friends).

That being said, I have had a few good swims lately.  Again, they aren't epic, and I am looking to rediscover my swim fitness.  I got to swim next to a local friend on Saturday, Louise.  She reminds me of what community is all about.  She's a retired police officer and has always been a great example to me despite whatever things, challenges, etc she is going through.  She is a great swimmer and offers me a humbling view of how much better I could be, not that I am comparing, but despite the gap in our abilities, she is kind and encouraging and offers advice when asked.

I am learning that 'free advice' is truly worth just that.  I joke with folks to take what they need and discard the rest, even though I often witness what they discard is often the most valuable.  I am learning over time that they will get there, and hope that what they discarded is still available on the roadside of life when they circle back.  What do I mean?  

• It's like when in a triathlon, we mount our bike and hit a bump that causes something valuable to fall off our bike - perhaps its the water bottle with key nutrition - that I may choose to disregard but later in day on the run, regret that momentary decision to not waste a minute to locate grab the bottle, and fuel up on the bike (the return on investment may be 1 -2 minutes lost fetching the bottle, instead of blowing up and losing 20 minutes or more on the run and being out of gas and barely making it tot he finish.
• It's like, driving in and around boston, and not taking the u-turn offered by GPS and ending up burning 2 hours and missing a swim and adding 15-20 miles on the north shore b/c there isn't a direct route back and construction made it even more interesting
• It's like Alanis Morrisett - had to throw that in (video below)
  
• It's like not respecting the swim in my first half ironman branded event.  Showing up and missing the cut off by 3 minutes, because I disrespected the swim like so many others because it is the shortest of the disciplines and I thought I could just muscle through it.  (Click here to see how that worked out) - then changing perspective and seeing a HUGE gain the next year, and still seeing gains!

So, looking at my swims, my annual numbers are as follows (in yards)

• 2014 - 0 yds
• 2015 - 73,284 - IM 70.3 swim time - 1 hour 13 minutes (DNF)
• 40 hours and 13 minutes
• approx 41.64 miles
• 2016 - 70,419 - IM 70.3 swim time - 1 hour 1 minutes
• 26 hours 35 minutes
• approx 40.01 miles
• 2017 - 130,145 - IM 70.3 swim time - 52 minutes and 30 seconds
• 42 hours
• approx 73.95
• 2018 - 53,194 - IM 70.3 swim time - Didn't participate 
• 24 hours 4 minutes
• approx 30.23 miles
• 2019 - 80,070 - IM 70.3 swim time - 46 minutes (swam about 70% effort)
• 23 hours 47 minutes
• approx 45.50 miles

Now, to an off-the-street eye, the annual totals don't mean much.  But what you don't see is the focus of my swim time is actually heading toward an event in the first 2 weeks in March.  I started tracking my swims in March 2015.  I got a watch that could do that.  So the actual begin point isn't January 1, rather it is more like June 1.  Bottom line.  I discovered a group that was healthy for me.  The Crushing Iron guys, Mike and Robbie had just started podcasting and took on a topic they referred to as "How to not suck at swimming" -- find the series here:

• How to not suck at swimming-Episode 1
• How to not suck at swimming-Episode 2
• How to not suck at swimming-Episode 3
• How to not suck at swimming-Episode 4
• How to not suck at swimming-Episode 5

Then after listening to I think the first two episodes above, Mike and Robbie put together this video:

What I really needed was a 'shift' in focus about this thing known as swimming.  As an older swimmer, well, an older person trying to not drown, I had a lot of 'bad' and a lot of things that drills wouldn't correct quick enough.  So, I took the advice, and started to use this little thing known as a 'pull buoy'

I will tell you, I don't use any other tool, I just swim with this and do check-ins with swimming 25's, 50's and 100's without this thing.  At first, I swam faster with the P/B compared to without.  Last night though as an example after swimming 3 x 500's I swam 2 80 percent effort 100's without at 45 seconds per 50 yards.  I was warmed up but a bit tired and able to swim a strong 1:30 min per 100 even after swimming the better part of a mile, and this was without the P/B.

I focus on the swimming because what I need was to stop, to be still, to minimize and just listen to some simple 'free advice'.  I was able to tune out all the other noise and distractions.  A few folks here and there ask me why do you only use the p/b, all the other tools have a purpose too -- they are not WRONG!  I also saw, that first, I could use a p/b at the pool - most pools have them on hand -- say what?  A no-cost option - I was in.  Second, I didn't have all the distractions I see a lot of others that don't swim trying to make paddles, fins, masks, etc work.  With family, I don't have a lot of time to waste and mess with tools, nor talking with everyone at various times.  I enjoy the social nature of the activity at times, but sometimes I just want to concentrate.

So, with all the things of life, kidlet 4 on the way, parenting a wild nest of 3 other kidlets (don't get me wrong they are awesome and I love each of 'em)  -  I guess I was getting a bit lost.  So last night (Tuesday, October 29), I just got in the pool and swam.  It was about 14 degrees outside.  Inside the pool, it was great, started chilly and then I was cozy warm about 700 or so yards in.

And then I added a new torture device:

I am surprised at the whole rowing machine efforts.  So for the next little bit, I can control swims and rowing.  That will be my focus.  I am feeling a bit 'fluffy' for me.  I have wandered and grown to about 215 -ish and I don't like how I feel, but I have been struggling to stay active enough to keep it in control.  I also don't have the budget to find help at this time.  Liz and I have been focusing on what is most important to us and that is family and being financially sound.  It's not to say we are perfect in the least, but we are trying to stay ahead of disasters.

So last week while I was in Boston, I was so frustrated because I went to a running store that I thought would definitely have the running shoes I preferred.  I mean Boston is like a runner's mecca right?  I mean nearly EVERY runner I know is dreaming to BQ (Boston Qualify), well my expectations were a bit unrealistic.  So, what do I tend to run in?  I have two preferred shoes I tend to gravitate towards currently.  Most recently I used these:

https://www.on-running.com/en-us/products/cloudflow

And

https://www.mizunousa.com/product/running-wave-creation-20-mens.do

I have used the on cloud flow for a bit more than 1200 multipurpose miles and the creations I tend to get 750 hard running road miles.  I like them both for different reasons, but they each help protect my body from the rigors of training.  The last few runs have torn me up and left me quite fatigued and beat up. But, fatigue and stress is all a part of long course endurance sports and hobbies.

Ok, losing sight of my original thoughts.  See, focus.  Reducing things down so that the elements of controlling stressors, and disruptors is a lost art.

Well,  Let's get this dis-jointed blog post out the door, and I will try and put together something when flying Monday on my way out to Boston again.  We had grandma come over for Halloween activities and the kiddos loved the time with grandma.  It was super duper cold.  I went lightweight and put on some cycling running gear and wore my noxgear vest.  A lot of fun was had, a lot of candy received and overall it was a success as Liz met a new neighborhood friend whom we were able to have good times as families.  see, Life, Family balance, then work.  Yup.

Click Here to see my last post on swimming topics

Click here for another relevant swimming post

Activities - 

I use the following trackers:

• Garmin Connect (which pushes the files to the following services):
• Training Peaks
• Strava
• and the ones I don't remember (Map my stuff via Under Armour and things like the Great Bicycle ride initiative stuff)

Honestly, I mainly use Training Peaks as I pay for an annual subscription on it now, and it is the most detailed in data and other helpful information to keep me where I want to go. Use the 'Links', then 'Track me' section to find and stalk me if that's your thing.

Relevant Pics

Pix go here