2019 - April 30 - Check in

Almost here

Checkin' IN!!!

2017 - Reflections
2016 - Reflections
2015 - Reflections

A week out from my next IM 70.3 IM St George triathlon. The interesting thing about this thing of endurance multisport, you know, it is quite interesting. I sit here listening to Mike Reilly on the broadcast of IMTX. You know, I'm not exactly where I want to be as I am a wee bit undertrained, but I am glad. I am looking inward at myself and know this go is about coming about STRONG. I'm not worried about speed so much as I am about coming in STRONG. I am ready tho. My swim is where I would like it to be at this point. That being said, I am where I want to be with the swim.

I don't know how feasible it is to do a comparison of my swim volumes for the last 3 years, but what I do know is my 'feel' in the water is better than I have ever felt. I'm not nervous, but am ready. Maybe I will still be able to get out to an OWS later today or on Monday.

My bike just got out of the shop for a tune-up. I picked up my bike, and life and weather and many things are in between. I am being forced into a taper of sorts. However, I swam last night. I wanted something short and strong. Well, I pushed out a quick 500 meters (outdoor pool instead of indoor 25 yd pool) and my per 100-meter avg was 1:31. That's my strongest output EVER. The funny thing I was only about 75-80% effort as I know I have to go 1.2 miles on Saturday in frigid waters.

So, I'm going to be that guy. I sign up for races late. Yes, I tend to wait until the last deadline. I find for me, I don't want to be tied to a goal that has monetary implications, and then I forget about my well-being.

It is my observation, that I witness so many injuries occur because folks won't pull the pin, yet they will over train in too short amount of time, or undertrain and still say I will muscle through.

I don't want to be either person any more. I am a wee bit undertrained for my event this Saturday, but my multisport and cross training is solid, even though I have not had the cycling time I want. My run is strong, my Avg HR is in the high 130's for the last 4 months.

I think what I have come to realize, is that I am just comfortable in my own skin. I know where I am at. I am willing, to be honest with myself and had that or those in the mirror type conversations in my head. I have done it while swimming while biking and while running. The other run while I was traversing up a single track trail, I slowed down and just took in the wind on my face and just 'felt'. It felt Mother Father COLD! and it was AWESOME! I was able to continue my run in comfortable stress, a wee bit of suffering and pain. Not a pain from an injury, but knowing I know where I am at and asking my mind and my body to bear down a bit and go a bit deeper and a bit farther.

If I had to choose a word to define this training loop - I would choose 'CEREBRAL'. I have been very mindful of all the activities, the way I have arranged my focus blocks, how I have loaded up volume differently given time, family, and stress constraints from all facets of life. My major goal on Saturday is to execute and as a mentor I trust and respect would say "Don't do stupid Shit!". My swim is solid. If temps allow my body to find the rhythm, I should be comfortable enough to just be strong. Then I can focus on the bike. I know I need to take in calories on the bike, and in the last wind storm I did not. My nutrition plan is as follows:

2 - 28 oz bottles of EFS 2 scoops each.

2 pro bar meal replacements

1 pro bar protein

I will have a 3rd bottle of EFS in my aero bars too. I need to drink more than ever and finish a bottle an hour, I feel if I do that I won't fall apart too much on the run this year. Last go, I PR'D on my swim and my bike and completely almost walked off the course during the run. I was out of my headspace and out of my mind. I let myself go to that mental cliff, and it hurt. After the last event in 2017, I wound up heading into stupid space. Hey, I have to go bigger, I have to go longer, let's go do an ultra run, 100 miles. I was on course too and my volume at the end of 2017 was solid and I was running nearly 2 hours a day 4 times a week. THen life hit us hard - in a very good way. Liz and I decided we should move and sell our current home, and choose to move. The next few months completely disrupted everything for both of us. It consumed us - in a mostly good way. But it definitely shaped us differently than we were anticipating for the year. Because, seriously, choosing to move is STUPID. It is INSANE. It was completely the RIGHT thing to do, but man that growth stretched us. A few points in there we also wondered - Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, and can we go back.

Sound familiar. Anyone, I'd like to believe that has entered long course endurance oriented participation, racing and volunteering have gone through this whether for themselves participating or supporting (Sherpa etc) another person in their efforts. I'm nowhere near where I think I may land, but I feel I am developing patterns. Patterns of strength, and wisdom. Fueled by tolerance and understanding when it should or shouldn't hurt. When to press or when to recover and allow the space for each. When to be kind especially when my own personal expectations are unrealistic and I have to recalibrate those expectations to match with where I am at currently - not where I once was, or where I want to be now or in the near term future. The allure of this triathlon thing for me is solving equations. Being engaged in the process and the journey. It's a bit selfish, but the outcomes for my wife, for my family, for those in my circles of influence in career, peers and other things are PRICELESS.

I recently won an award at work:

A colleague and I kind of mused - I got an award for doing my job, for being me, and for just being consistent and honest and morally true to myself and others. It was surprising and, in some respects, absolutely uncomfortable to receive this award. I mean I deserve it, and to be frank, recognition is so incorrectly applied - similar in this case that I found out via text message and FB before any internal leadership - and I wasn't present nor invited to the venue in which the award was granted - I'll get over that too. But in reality, I watch a lot of folks not just be steady, and consistent, and 'meh'. Sure I once wanted that EPIC stuff, but now, I just want to be like Coach Boone from Remember the Titans -- need to circle back for the quote.

Anyway, I just wanted to get some of that out. Time to go play dad and family guy. Life is good, oh and it's snowing again in Logan, Utah. CRAZY!