Et Voila, I tri! - Diary of my journey(s). Observations! #Zentriathlete, #familybalancetri, #zenfamily

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15 January 2018

2018 - Checking in - 15 Jan - House listing!!!


Checkin' IN!!!

We have decided to sell our house - https://www.utahrealestate.com/1499824

I wanted to capture some thoughts. For the last 2 weeks my endurance sports hobbies have been put on an indefinite stop. This disruption was not due to an injury, rather - life. Liz and I have been feeling the effects of little Astrid joining us. With Liz also getting involved in her Agnes & Dora - boutique styled clothing, and when I am home doing business, our current home is shrinking. It has been a great 7 years.

We have made many friends along the way from our home. Some of those friendships have been challenged and tested at times, but overall, they are positive. Further, we have been able to see our family grow. First our family grew especially on my waistline. No joke, I pushed up to 247# and that was not good. Along the way, Dennis also has grown up. He is a wonderful lad, with all the wonderful joys of puberty, being a tween, and dealing with change. To watch him go from Kindergarten age to nearly middle-school aged in our home is truly weird, because time just keeps going on. 

We endured a large segment of our secondary infertility challenges in this home. By the textbooks and doctors, Liz and I shouldn't have had any difficulty and Dennis arrived like clockwork. But after years of trying from Utah, to Connecticut, to Virginia and back to Utah, we were finally provided a benefit from my current employer. A lifelong fertility benefit of 20K opened the door. So, after finally letting go of my insecurities, Liz and I tried an IVF cycle. SCIENCE!!! Juniper was the result and we couldn't be happier. Concerning our current home, we felt a perfect match - we purchased sight unseen, we had the yard, the home, the neighborhood and neighbors and our local faith based community to boot. To our surprise when Liz discovered she was pregnant.

So, here’s a time line of sorts:
  • Dennis - Nov 2005
  • Juniper - July 2015
  • Astrid - Sep 2017
Now, this post isn't about infertility, rather it is about having to adult. Things were good, solid comfortable. We were motoring along with a few speed bumps and adaptations. Then we started to feel the pinch. 2 children under 3 and a 12-year-old and the dynamics of our home are just a bit off. With Liz adding in her clothing/fashion adventure, we're just not fit as well as we first were. So, we decided to look around and the inventory in the current real estate market was off. We were not finding anything, then we found it. So, we looked a couple of times - thought things through and decided to wait until after Jan 1 to move forward.

Well that was a mistake. The 'one' was grabbed up a week before we could do it. When we left Virginia, we recalled all the things we didn't do while in Utah. When we moved back, we resolved to capture those opportunities more - and we generally did, except this one we missed. So, onward and dealing with home we thought. So, Liz and I kept looking at listings and one day a few days later we decided to check a few out. We thought a fixer upper would be one we'd take a gamble with. But there was a listing that was just curious, we drove by and thought, well let’s see it. Well, this one is better than the "one" that got away.

Now, we have a few things that need to fall into place, like selling our current home. So, we got to work while negotiating through the home we'd like to purchase. Many things had fallen into place prior to this, but the house just wasn't. Liz and I wondered many times should we or should we not let it go, and I remember walking through this house one time and saying to myself - this feels like our new home. Now, the home is not brand new. It isn't PERFECT, but it is a 1967 built home that has what we need for family and our lifestyle. As we showed it to friends and family, the remarks were all over the board, but collectively, most of the feedback described us collectively or in part.

Ok. So, our current residence was finally listed while I sit in a chair in the air heading to JFK airport. Fitting, too. That while I am flying things all came together. Now, this was no easy task. We were not ready to show our home, let alone have it ready for pictures and showings. Our realtor/friend - pushed. So, it is now listed after 5-7 days of crazy (insane to be frank). Thanks to some help from truly wonderful friends (Ashley and Carl) and my mother a bit, we made things come together.

So, endurance sports. I haven't worked out in over 14 days. My stress and cortisol are out of control. My respect and love for my wife increases daily, and I feel for her having to manage this week with me thousands of miles away. I'm grateful for her, and years ago when we found each other, in our separate and stubborn ways we both identified a partner and companion that has been more than just two star-crossed lovers finding each other. Sure, it was that too, but we are indeed very blessed, and it has taken a lot of effort from both of us to make it work. And work it does when in a lot of ways, it just shouldn't. And there you have it folks, luck has little to do with our marriage, rather love, faith, stubborn persistence, RESPECT, admiration. Sounds like an endurance sports journey. Well it is. Marriage is about endurance.  To me there is a great parallel between the two. There are no known formulas beyond this:

I care more about her than me, and more about us, than her. And so that is how I strive to make things work.

Back to endurance sports. So, with the last few weeks of prepping a home to sell, and locating another to purchase, I haven't worked out at all, but concentrated 100 percent on being a husband, a dad, a friend to my family. Well, it's been worth it. Unsolved equations presented along the way. Liz and I came together and sought for solutions. Many were found and still some are left unresolved and we are trying to allow our faith, our hope, our effort, and our love be tested and challenged and ultimately placing trust in our faith - things should work out and hopefully we will be able to see the miracle of it all.

I am now on a plane. When I arrive, after working through a few trains I should be able to get some food, and then get a run in. I am quite lucky and can run. I was getting ready for two long distance running events, which I have decided to let that go - long course ultra-events - 1 50 miler and 1 100 milers -- I want that belt buckle. But with the house stuff, it is better for me to not try that, as I had already decided to not pursue a FULL 140.6 Ironman this year -- or have I?

I don't know what will happen beyond what we currently have in front of us. We need to sell our home quickly, and if that goes well, then get into the home we are currently under contract. If all goes well, we will move in mid feb to early March -- need to see how due diligence goes on both properties. WOW. Selling a home is tough work. Finding a home and buying it can be entertaining, to say the least. I mentioned on Facebook, that in some distinct ways we know why, and in many others, it is not yet known and as we tend to do, we feel we are in deep waters treading until we can walk on solid footing. Only, there is not wet suit to keep us safely buoyant in the waters.

Anyway, here are some of the mindless wanderings that have been disrupting my endurance sports lifestyle. I am getting hungry to jump back in. Also, Liz is trying to get back to activity as well. This has been a more difficult return for her, this time around and she is beating herself up over it. Hopefully, I can continue to support her - even though I know most my efforts fall short -- but I do keep trying. I get to run tonight, and hope I can get back to consistency and purpose.

Dennis and Juniper are skeptically excited. Their behaviors are a bit all over, as they like the new house but there are a lot of unknowns and it is change. Dennis has been all over the board. We do our best, and thus far, no injuries or deaths. Fingers crossed we can keep it up. We have dearly enjoyed our current home. 7 years have come and gone. We have many joys, some heart aches, and a plethora of learning that has happened. We have watched, observed, engaged and at times cheered from the sidelines for family, friends, and neighbors, too. Sometimes we have loved things, and other times we grinned and bore it, or even at times, faked it until we make'd it! It has been worth it for sure, and we are hoping that we will be able to say similar in 5, 10, 15 years from now.

Ok, that was a long one and off topic from endurance sports, but I felt it was needed to explain the large gap, or forced taper of sorts. I'm curious to how my body will respond post run in NYC. It will be an uber stressful work week too as I am doing something our company doesn't often provide, and I am the first one to do so in a series of engagements in multiple context areas. Here's to hoping my efforts go well and that my typical and consistent approach leads me to great outcomes. It's ironic how work-life-balance-and endurance sports have so many transferable qualities should one choose to identify them and leverage them. -- Here we go!!!

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