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| Making jovial memories - Re-create this in 20 years little Sherpas! |
Checkin' IN!!!
Well, well, well. It has been some time. I needed some space. Space for me. My family and I have been really honing down and focusing in on what is most important for us. Along the way I have been able to get a few quality swims in and I am beginning to feel 'flow' I was talking to Liz and was mentioning perspective. It's always a curious thing how data and measurements like to strip one of what is truly important. Progress. So, my last few swims I have been swimming at a net of 1:38 - 1:42 per 100 yards/meters. Looking back, that is normally where I landed the week of my last 3 events, and this is where I am starting as I start to truly gear up and lean into getting ready for a FULL Ironman on October 24, 2021. Perspective.I have stayed away from the bike in the last little bit as I knew I would have a small procedure done on Monday November 23. I am currently in recovery from that, and I wanted to wait until after the procedure to begin delving back into the bike and the run. Along the way Rouvy changed their platform into a subscription based model. Jerks! But I totally understand why they did it. I have been watching Train XHale and the development and growth they have recently seen and continue toe be a viable alternative to Training Peaks especially for journaling and supporting Age Grouper and hobbyist types. In some ways I have slipped in physical areas but i feel that my headspace and mental capacity is stronger than ever and growing. I think that will help me as we get beyond Covid 19 and I begin to focus on this long journey. My shoulder has been withstanding the build into where I feel I should be now going into the depths of winter. My hope is to be able to swim in the open water more in late spring and into the summer at Hyrum and porcupine. I hope that Dennis and Juniper can both have fun in supporting me in the waters on Kayaks. Need to get them both life jackets and get Juniper ready for it, but I think it could lend itself to growth moments for both of them and allow Liz to handle Astrid and Lucas. Then I can provide her space to do similar or swim in the pool.
This year we were both accepted onto TEAMZOOT. Liz is even toying with at least a Sprint, and who knows maybe more. When she sets out to do something, beware because she hunts it down and does well! Yup that's my wife. That is our exciting little win during all things Covid and to the Zoot family we are grateful. We are inspired and hopeful that the we will represent the Ohana for as long as they will allow. Plus it is a great brand to represent.
So, this year with Covid has seen an immense amount of change, required adaptations. It has required me to really look deep within and investigate my relationship with my health and fitness. Now I don't think I was that far out of skew, however, it was clear that my wife after having had 3 little Sherpas in less than 5 years needed some help. So, I allowed myself a lot of grace. Heck I have gained at least 20 lbs during Covid disruptions. We focused on family, making memories assuring that are needs are met. Then we determined to look a bit beyond ourselves and keep things simple and provide help and lift where we could stand.
I happened across this clip:
I find it hilarious and although filled with a bit of rudeness, the humour is on point and healthily describes some of the stereotypical triathlete attributes. Now that being said, I have really been focusing on my headspace:
Shakespeare has really been on my mind lately and how history repeats. What I love most about triathlon and long course endurance sports. Iterative learning. Triathlon at its core is super simple. 3 distinct sports. Swim, Bike and Run. All in one day. Various events and distances exist to accomplish and showcase one's mastery of the disciplines of triathlon. But man, do I have a love for the 70.3 distance. Many reasons for this, but for me it's just the reach and enough to keep me physically fit, sharp and in tune with my body and mind, It is where I can turn to remedy the ills of the world and work and keep those ills distanced from my precious family. The FULL is a different animal because it delves into impacting my family. Although my family is my biggest group of direct supporters, they are also in need of my full support for them, too. That's the selfless and selfish paradox in my face. It's a difficult but compelling and fulfilling dilemma to be in when I am doing it right. Anyway, I have been distracted and with good cause to avoid what Mercutio below is speaking two. I find it interesting that we live in a world where nothing is ABSOLUTE however the theaters of the world are demanding just that. I am finding it interesting how many folks just don't see how blurred their supposed absolutes are and often are projected and reflected quite differently than what they cling to in argument. Here is a clip of a favorite scene from R & J:
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS ARE JUST FUTURE RESENETMENTS
I see so many that yield this outcome. I know they are not happy. So, Liz and I have turned inward and are first building our foundations. We are turning in and focusing on our mental and health engines and chassis. We anticipate that we may be faced with relying on our mental and physical chassis to hold our family in a good place. I mean just looking back at the decision we anticipated to move. Although it has disrupted a few things, it has enabled many things. It has given us the home we needed and we have had another little once join us. Our home fits us 6 humans well and will allow us to have our family pursuits.
This anthem and this quote pair well.
I have a significant journey in front of me in this next Ironman adventure. Less than a year now. On Oct 24, 2021 in Sacramento I will embark on a long day. It will be an opportunity to express my fitness. It will exhibit the discipline and rigor I put into my training. It will expose and put me in a very vulnerable position. I am not often afraid of being on the stage, but I think Liz is more correct than I like to admit about me being vulnerable. I guess truth be told, I haven't even come close to tapping into my potential. A lot of that is hindered by not being able to truly focus like some have the capability to do. I have a family and heavy work responsibilities at time. Further, as it is with family - Liz and her back at times can be quite debilitating for her and she needs to lean into me for support. I love that. That is what make us who we are and so great. That I think is where my vulnerability becomes strength - where I can be both a husband and a Father tot he greatest circus in the world. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Well maybe for a day to qualify for Kona, but we won't go there. LOL. So I am not excited about the swim in Sacramento, but I will take that as a gift of ROI - I just don't like swimming the Sac/American rivers. The rest will be a great day of celebrating a journey. Here we go! I am focused on tuning out noise.
I find it interesting that I am perpetually growing and staying in the 'middle'. I have found a boring consistency in the journey into headspace and triathlon and family. It has been so noisy during the US elections. I find that many have completely lost their minds and thinking about my post Click here for Selfless/Selfish paradigm post - it truly appears that folks confuse being selfish and selfless. The attributes are not interchangeable and that in itself is weird. I review and recalibrate and adapt as necessary. I have added some poignant thoughts to me below that I keep circling back to in different ways. I see it as an opportunity to tune into a stronger and more improved set of opportunities.
I find it interesting that I am perpetually growing and staying in the 'middle'. I have found a boring consistency in the journey into headspace and triathlon and family. It has been so noisy during the US elections. I find that many have completely lost their minds and thinking about my post Click here for Selfless/Selfish paradigm post - it truly appears that folks confuse being selfish and selfless. The attributes are not interchangeable and that in itself is weird. I review and recalibrate and adapt as necessary. I have added some poignant thoughts to me below that I keep circling back to in different ways. I see it as an opportunity to tune into a stronger and more improved set of opportunities.
Some pensive thoughts from the socials:
Nov 25, 2020 -
I really don't recall when I happened across this song, but I love this version from red rocks.
So, when we first visited snow canyon back in 2014 as I was getting ready to do my first 70.3 in st George, Utah, we were exploring and saw the amphitheater section. Well, ever since that day, as I pass the entry cabin on my bike during my four 70.3's, I have this song troll thru my mind. It's interesting, b/c- to be frank an Ironman event is a long day. To have folks chase me is a privilege and to have Liz and my other family who have come, it's an honor. I am grateful that I have been able to participate in this great thing. This song reminds me when I have spent time apart from Liz and my family. To those times, where she stayed behind in Hyrum while I was in CT and she tried to sell our home and I had a roommate as a married fellow with a son miles upon miles away. When I commuted from Logan Utah to Strasbourg France for the better part of a year. To the many weeks since 2010 where I leave on Monday and come home Friday.
So while I climb through snow canyon, this song has great significance as I ride through a brutal 4-5 mile section with a great vertical exchange (like 1200 ft I think) - it represents - the song, the lyrics and the physical effort, the many obstacles, disruptions and challenges we have faced as a nuclear family, and that becomes a motivator for me. As the lyric goes - 'to not relent' and the hook of 'you forgave and I will not forget' and 'I fell heavy into your arms'. My father caught a photo of Liz and I - well he's captured a few GEMS (the photos really capture her and I in vulnerable moments of trust) , but this song just represents a lot of our journey - ironman for me, 2ndary infertility for Liz (and many other untold stories I am sure), this climb thru snow canyon is the crucible of the event, it's where the race truly begins. My first year I failed. My second year I absolutely crushed it. But my 3rd and 4th I still PR'd. This last one, I even stopped to clear my head of snot (lovely I know) - similar to what it represents, many clear my head moments in life, training, love, travel, work and so much more). Liz and I often say, we only know deep waters and this song paired with this part of snow canyon on a bike is just that. So, i have this song in my head as I climb this beast. And that is what my connection to this song is, thanks for sticking with me if you did - thanks for not being a tl:Dr type and being willing to share in my gratitude.
Yup Liz Livingston grateful for you and for us! Thank you for waiting for me as I know I 'will wait for you'....
Posted on Nov 11, 2020
I have been thinking "what if" we celebrated the following more on a daily basis - Thanksgiving - 'GRATITUDE' and Christmas - 'CHARITY'. Can you imagine random acts of charity daily fostered by daily gratitude? Amaze balls!
Nov 20, 2014
Sometimes life is rough. Sometimes I am not home when wife needs me most. Sometimes I am not home when son wants me home. Oft times I am States or sometimes an ocean away curious to how I can help from so far away. So tonight Facebook friends. Please take a moment and let those you love in your nuclear family know how much they mean to you. Please stop and know that others may not have the same blessings as you. Please stop and ask how can I be better, and reflect on the gracious circumstances you have and then please reach out and help your fellow humans the best way you know how, a smile, a hug, a firm handshake, a listening ear, a warm meal or a roof overhead. We are all beggars to a certain degree. I just hope my wife and son know what they mean to me. I am grateful to have them, and grateful to be able to serve others as prompted to do so. My yard may be a bit unkempt, or the car not as polished as it could be because when I am home we are trying to squeeze what family time we can. I just passed 130000 miles travelled by plane this trip. Time kept passing by and we keep growing up. I hope friends and neighbors have a great holiday season, and pray we do not neglect you in time of need. Yes, life is tough, but for my wife and son, it is worth the challenge. I hope my wife who has been sick for the better part of a week is ok, and still muscling up to take our son to classes to help him learn discipline and skill despite her suffering doesn't over do it. I hope that she gets well soon. I hope my son enjoys turning 9 on the 25th.i hope I keep having safety to be able to enjoy next week with them before 2 more weeks of travel. I hope we enjoy family time. I hope it snows, I hope it snows so much that I can help others clear snow from their ways. I hope that hope is not lost. I am a grateful husband and father although I feel helpless in my wife and Son's time of need. Here's to hoping tomorrow we can have a great day once I return home. Liz Livingston, how lucky we are. Life is grand, even though some of the road bumps and detours smack us when we least expect or want it. Be home soon. See you tomorrow. Travel-gasted. ~me
Nov 11, 2016
So thoughts and observations of the recent events. This is more for me, it may include free advice, so take what you need and discard the rest. Regardless of your opinion, I don't delete fb friends I have acquired through the years/ but I may mute/ignore some noise from time to time. Speaking to the recent election cycle and the USA and our climate concerning humanity.
The engine is broken by folks trying to force something, designed to be ineffective and require multiple points of change over a linear period. to be effective and persistent. The idealist framework is a thing of genius. The application by the flawed representatives and masses is at an astounding low.
As I write this here on social media, the new platform as a catharsis vehicle I hope to tread in a constructive manner.
I am observing many of those in my circles of influence be so reactionary, in celebration or in many shades to its antithesis. Neither of which is becoming to the values i strive to reflect and hope to ultimately achieve. I was taught to engender values that shaped me to be mindful of the actions, feelings, outcomes, histories and heritage of the past.
To refer to those things for identifying values, actions, tolerances of things for today. I try to exercise my personal choice, being mindful of what's good/better/best for me, my immediate family, my community and circles of influence. I try to do so expending reasonable efforts and then try to elevate beyond my own shallow self-centeredness. I recognize that people may disagree with my selected actions and I hope the relationships I have fostered permit and inspire those in disagreement to tolerate and when prudent provide an opportunity and a venue for them to present or share or influence their points of view to me understanding I may agree or disagree to their observations and feedback. I will strive to offer the same courtesy.
I have failed at offering courtesies and destroyed and harmed many relationships along my imperfect and flawed existence. I recognize and hope that Charles Darwin's following observation is actually brilliant --
"It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.”
~~Charles Darwin
Also, I'm glad I am skeptical and reasonably minded. Many view me as a rebel, but the following notion has helped me mature in the last few years.
"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties."
~~Sir Francis Bacon
I recognize life is an iterative experience. This experience is impacted mostly by me, ad often by choices (committed and omitted) by those I may know and revere or not know at all. I do not subscribe to a notion that I am socially programmed one way or another. I often observe many breakdowns, failures and points of contention are fostered in fear, misunderstanding(s) and under researched assumptions to name a few. I am witnessing a shallowness and an overall maturities and collective immaturity I have not yet witnessed as a human being, the degradation of which is appalling but more so heartbreaking.
In the stage and theater of the world, many that revered us now question our ideals. Not from one singular event (whether it is representative of the systemic failures or successes) but the sum of many . whiskey tango foxtrot is my common consensus.
So, I choose to strive to be better. I strive to be empathetic and reasonable. I strive to civilly celebrate my successes and hopefully learn from my failures and imperfections. My first breath of life is not identical to my last breath but the mechanics of breathing are similar.
My plea to all is to discover common sense. My hope is that I will empathize and tolerate and accept others and maybe just maybe, others will do the same for me. The self centered, shallow over reactionary tendencies of our day are alarming and unbecoming. In my circles and it's immediate periphery I have many heroes, curious wild cards and many others that provide a vibrant and enriched diversity of thought, action and options to observe and reflect. I wouldn't trade or discard that, most especially my wife. some I support, some I don't, ad my hope is it don't abandon them in their respective successes or failures.
Understanding my imperfections, I invite, implore and hope more than just me will choose to rise above. To be patient to be reasonable to be empathetic. Many in our country look beyond marks, we forget, neglect, or have yet to experience the process that begets wisdom. We open our mouths when we should observe and reflect. We react when it's unnecessary and risk damage and disruption instead of fostering and seeking for more-- rise above. I did not vote for the president elect, but I hope that the citizenry of America can rise above and not regress and ignore the great progress we have made. As the great Martin Luther King Jr once proclaimed 'I have a dream'. I no longer choose to wallow in the mire, as my wife states 'I am not a victim'. I'd like to celebrate more in the journey of myself and others. We are sick, we are ill, we are indifferent collectively speaking. We need to heal and to seek for remedy.
May I have courage to rise above. May you do similar. May we tolerate our journeys supporting when appropriate, wishing or empathizing as needed, providing feedback IF asked. May our communication improve instead of doing what Bernard Shaw observed "
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." In the end we share this space of America and the earth. Instead of bickering, complaining and whining, let's seek, discover and celebrate joy.
This is how I choose to be optimistic about this, this is where I hope to remind myself is my starting point (Facebook memories - on this day). May I look back to identify progress and maturity despite my imperfect journey. I hope to not get caught up nor lost in disruptive noise. I hope good friends and associates will try to do similar. I hope my closest friends such as my wife will shake me when needed, in a manner that I will awaken and listen to when not asking (zentriathlete.blogspot.com - find transformation Tuesday). I hope to a future that is better than today. I feel too many are out of focus and need to recalibrate and rise above the disruptions. We won't all agree, but maybe just maybe we will become better and stop this painful and recursive regression.
Thank you for your tolerance! Cheers - Time for me to run soon and unplug and return home for a short turn around back to San Francisco on Monday. tis the season. Our country really needs thanksgiving before concentrating on Christmas this year. Rise above, focus, concentrate and push beyond the noise. Unplug! It's time. Just do it.
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